Gratuitous Gaga :3

I can't help it. The hipsters can bawl about how "UNORIGINAL AND UNTALENTED" she is. Shit's catchy, plus she's way hotter than Madonna. Even 'Like a Virgin' Madonna. Sue me.

Her music also makes me feel marginally better about...life. Fuck off.

-sigh-

I guess I should explain the sitch betwixt me & boyfriend, & why I'm such a cunt about it.

In 2009 my husband cheated on me with his ex-fiancee. We'd had our issues, some of which included me flirting with other men via teh intarwebz. But I didn't cheat on him. I had opportunities, I had motive. But in the end, he was the one who couldn't keep it zipped up.

Fast forward getting kicked out of his parents house & him leaving me & the kids with nowhere to go, moving into a trailer on my own, reconciling, moving back in with him & his parents, him provoking me into slapping him during an argument (by backing me into a corner) which he then used as an excuse to beat the shit out of me & then call the cops because he had a scratch on his face. I plead guilty to domestic battery. I was broke & by then unemployed. What other option did I have?

We were sat down one night afterwards by his parents & told that they were the king & queen of the castle, & we were the slaves (verbatim.) That didn't sit well.

I then moved in with a very good friend of mine. It was during the transition that I met boyfriend over the internet.

I know, I know.

We talked online & on the phone for 4 months before I made the leap & moved 6 hours north (kids in tow). For the first few months everything was spectacular.

Then he became super fucking controlling & a major asshole. Examples: Expecting me to carry housework & a full time job while he fucked off on the computer, citing gender roles when confronted. Behaving caustically towards all of the children (even his own.) Pitching fits whenever I got homesick & wanted to visit my friends & family. Dropping me off at work in MY CAR, using it all day, forcing me to call when my shift was over, bitching about how late I got off (closing shift at a gas station that closed at 11. Also he had his own vehicle) and more than once not answering the phone, forcing me me to walk 2 miles home. Etc, etc.

So I left. And came back. And left. And came back. Repeat 3 more times.

Shit was getting retarded. We were starting to throw punches during fights due to him not giving a goddamn inch, twisting arguments to make things my fault, & me not standing for that shit, never backing down. Once he even tried to say the next day that we had taken totally opposite positions in the fight than we actually had. Manipulative as hell.

The last time I left, I had thrown a photo album of vintage porn across the room because he hadn't called to say he wouldn't be coming home for lunch. He hadn't even answered when I called, turning his phone off after the second call. I asked why. He said "I'm earning the money, I can do what I want WHEN I want."

Album throw, me tackled in the hallway with his legs wrapped around my neck in a fucking MMA style hold until I blacked out. I ran into the kitchen, he chased me, threw the microwave at me knocking me over, kicked me in the stomach & ribs repeatedly. I ran to the bedroom to call the cops, he ripped the phone from the wall. I pegged him in the head with said phone, he smashed my jewelry box. I ran outside with my cell & called the cops.

Blah blah blah, cops, report, escorted back to the state line.

Moved in with ex & his parents again (they offered). Lapsed on my car tags, lapsed on the speeding ticket I'd been paying off. Got put in jail on Labour Day after getting pulled over. Ex's parents kick me out, call boyfriend & tell him to come get me because I have nowhere to go. Also tell me that I'm no longer allowed to take my children from their house. Unfortunately, my homestate treats children as property. Who's got 'em owns 'em.

I had nowhere to go.

I didn't want to be a burden to anyone else.

So here I am.

-whew...drink-